So you’re rich now. Who cares. Sotheby’s don’t care.
This is how she replies, the sky echoes her. It isn’t thunder. But a shrivelling moonlight being wrenched into submission by the clouds. I can’t see why she’s annoyed. I remember everything I promised her and she’ll get it. She’ll get it now. She’s looking at me. As she used to, for extended time stamps, just to make sure my mind doesn’t wander. But it has no reason to wander now. I accomplished what I set out to do. We’re in our birdcage.
I am. You should. I know.
Why should I? What makes you think I care about that when so much time is gone. You missed my bestfreind’s wedding, my mum’s birthday you were barely there for mine. We’re not engaged or even thinking about getting married yet. You’re in your own world always. So what do you expect me to do? I cant. I won’t do this again.
Babe, it’s over, I mean…
Why are you calling me babe? I know it’s over.
No that’s not what I mean. I always call you babe. I mean I’m over. It’s over, I’m finished.
You used to.
What, what are talking about?
Exactly that. You used to call it me, and mean it. Now you just say it. Babe, not right now, sorry babe, I promise babe. I promise babe, I promise. Babe, I can’t do your excuses any more.
But I’m finished now. I had to miss that wedding, sorry about your mums you know I’ll make it up to you… You remember right? It’s over.
I think we are too.
HAHAHAHA
Dillan!
Sorry. But this is the funniest thing I’ve heard for the past two years. Two years. Babe. Meli. Melissa. Two years. I made you a promise two years ago.
You made me a promise two years ago that you’d make me wait no longer than three months.
I know. I know what I said. But its been a journey I cant even describe, I’ve been working every second I can, if I haven’t been working I’ve been figuring out how to make this work. I know I never explained it but I’m here now. Don’t tell me it’s too late. Don’t.
I’m not telling you it’s too late.
Good.
I told you it was too late months ago.
What?
You should have explained whatever you were trying to explain then. Now I know you didn’t.
Huh!?
I know you thought I would wait for you but it was impossible. It was interesting to me what you were trying to do. My work doesn’t consume me as it does you. But it was interesting.
Interesting?
Interesting he thinks he’ll wait for you. Interesting he’s choosing that over you. Interesting he thinks you’ll wait. Interesting that I used to love him. I loved you. Preferred you over everything, you know. You knew. But now…
Why are you speaking like a fucking Aussie soap opera.
Because that’s what this is.
What the hell? Two years. Every single thing I was trying to accomplish I was accomplishing with you in mind. You know that, how could you not. You think Branson would give up going to space at any point in time!?
You mean Elon.
I mean both.
You’re neither. I know.
And? You know what I’m saying.
And, I told you it was too late months ago. C’est la vie…
Breathe. I take a breath. My eardrums are drumming. I can barely hear her. I can’t think.. But I speak anyway.
You remember. I said we’d go.
No.
I love Ce La Vi. I’ll book us flights, a reservation. The Address, it’s our hotel remember?
No honey, do you know what it means?
You had a lot of bad days, I know. You haven’t mentioned it, about your uncle. I’m sorry you didn't want to tell me what was going on.
That’s life.
I know. Wait. What do you mean that’s life. I thought…
That’s what it means.
What what means?
C’est la vie. How could I have told you?
I still had a phone.
And no attention.
The restaurant. I know it’s French. I had, have attention. Wait. Why are we talking about then. Months ago I was still trying to do this. Look around babe, Meli, this is all ours. I invited you here today to tell you I’m ready.
I can do nothing else. Nothing. But the drumming fog in my head is starting to clear.
No. Get up. You’re ready. I was ready months ago. I would have been with you for whatever reason but you needed a reason to be with me.
No I didn’t. I wanted to be better for you.
How can you say you wanted to be better for me when, you were perfect for me already. If I wanted all this too I would have told you.
I just. I did it all for you.
You didn’t. People always say that. I bet King says that to his wife all the time, I wanted the chapter to be better for you. Bollocks.
I did! You’re still using that word then.
No.
I.
No.
Babe.
Something about being this elevated, up here, is messing with gravity. I feel heavy, hollow, this room feels hollow, bare; light form the city can’t reach up here, to this… to our glass birdcage.
You did it because you wanted to do it and I honestly don’t know why. You’re not going to space, building the next 3D printer for replacement hearts or curing depression with a liquid blue pill. You’re just making money. Who cares about that, because…
Because…
Because you wanted to do it, for you, you have an idea about our life you think I wanted but I never told you or hinted or gave any indication of any of that.
You know why, I cant live life like everyone lives, why would I want that for us, we can get anything we want now. Think about the kids, they can do whatever they want…
I have a job. The kids?
And we’ll be able to support them, we can take them to Disneyland Paris, Florida, we can take them on Safari in India or Africa, we can go to the Caribbean, actually fuck the Caribbean—
I have a job.
—Or skiing, skiing in Italy or wherever, Alps. They can see F1 races, they can become drivers if they want, football games, become footballers, ballet, go to the Royal fucking Ballet School, you name it. Meli, come on. I didn’t do this for me. Why the fuck would I do everything I’ve done to be alone. I want to be with you. I’m here.
I know, you’re here. But I’m not. I can’t do this.
Meli. What the hell. Stop.
Something breaks. Something breaks between us and she jerks free of my arm, I twist onto the floor again, not quite a knee but close enough. What else can I do if not beg her to stay. Those nights, hours and hours, and hours and hours, the pain I never showed anyone, the murder of myself to become the person I am now. I did, I did it for her. Who else would I do it for. I wanted this. I. I wanted this for us. I wanted this. For. I. Just wanted this. For. I just wanted this.
I wanted this.
I know.
No. I wanted this, I know. Not for anyone, for me. For those connected to me but you’re right. I wanted this, and no matter what, I had to make the money. How can anyone live without it. Look at our parents.
Our happy parents?
They have nothing. They could barely afford to send us to school. Yearly upgrades in clothes and monthly hand-me-downs. We were embarrassing. You told me the same about your family.
And happy.
Embarrassed to invite anyone round, ‘cos our uncles were always passing through and eating us out of home talking nonsense.
You liked ‘em, they were funny, you told me they were funny.
When we did get a chance to leave school we couldn’t go to any of the uni’s because mum didn’t want us to get loans, we couldn’t even get to the uni’s out of the city, we didn’t even have bus fare. I couldn’t live without the money but was willing to live without you while I tried to get it. I know it seems like the money became more important but it didn’t. I know. There isn’t a man alive out there that didn’t want to become wealthy for the people around him, but they just couldn’t make it happen…
That’s your opinion.
Meli. I did do this for me, I needed it. But if I was doing it for me knowing I would lose you. I would never have got here. I would have never finished. I had to end the cycle.
I know. But…
But I ended ours?
I think so.
You think?
How do I know you won’t want something else?
I guess you don’t. But I was willing to live without you at the beginning of us so that we could be together for the ever part.
Honey. Don’t promise me. Just, give it away.
What?
I knew it. I cant. I won’t. I’ll stand here until she leaves. There’s no way. I can’t.
Honey?
Ask Moses to give up the tablets, Ask David to give up his belief. Ask Hercules to give up his strength. Achilles his glory. Odin, his sons. I can’t’. I won’t.
Honey? Don't—
Ask Lincoln to give up his ambition of equality. As Kennedy to give up his principles. Ask Chamberlain to give up his naive belief in peace. Ask Churchill to give up his resolve. Ask Buffet to retire. Ask Jordan to throw the game. Ask Beckham to cut practice short. Ask Prince to walk away from music.
Dillian?
Ask a rose to become ugly.
I’m sorry. I know you can’t. I just, I don’t know.
Sorry.
I’m sorry it took you so long. I’m sorry I met you four years ago and not today. I wasn’t waiting for you honey, I was waiting for you to tell me I was more important than, your quest to become rich. If you didn’t get what you wanted…
Wealthy. I was always getting it.
But if you didn’t. If it took you ten years. You would have asked me to wait for ten years, and that is something you know I wasn’t willing to do. This commitment that we made to each other in the beginning, and agreed we wouldn’t waste each other’s time. I gave you four years, and you gave me two. I’m giving you the two years back.
What do you mean?
I have something to do.
You have something to do?
I’m going away for two years. Out of the country.
I’ll come with you.
You can’t.
Why not, I’ll just…
It’s not somewhere you can fly.
Oh. One of your events?
Not quite.
What then?
I know I’m only an engineer, but I’ve been asked to fly on the next shuttle.
What the fuck!? Why the fuck did you guilt trip me all this time when you were going away anyway.
Because I want you know what it’s like to wait.
Meli.
I’m going tomorrow.
Meli.
I left the keys with your mum.
Meli.
Its okay, I know.
No. No you don’t. I can wait. I can wait. I can wait. I will.
Tell me when I get back.
I will. Can I at least drive you.
I have a taxi coming.
When did you order it?
I pre ordered it for around this time.
Oh.
Mmm.
So this is it? I see you in two years from now. And we get married. Have kids. And live that life we spoke about under the umbrellas in Dubrovnik?
Mmm.
Okay?
Okay…
See you honey.
See you Meli.
What just happened. Can I really wait? I can. I can. I will. I have everything I want now. Can go wherever I want to go. Live a thousand lives if I want to. Be in places. Go to art shows, fashion shows, concerts, yoga retreats in Thailand, surf in Costa Rica, visit concert halls in Vienna, eat waffles in Belgium. Drink beer in Dusseldorf, ski in St Moritz, Verbier, hike in the Amazon Jungle, (do people hike in the jungle?), watch the stars from the desert, lay in lake Como, meet the future in Singapore, Dubai, island hop in Thailand, rest in Malaysia . Wait.
Meli…
Yeah? I really have to go.
I’m going to travel the world for two years—
Go and see your dad—
—I don’t know what this place means without you. Meet back here?
I’ll be back at 5:30, Manchester Airport, Terminal 2, 2024, December 11th. Flight 14RTGBS.
Okay.
Okay…
I’ll be there. I…
Just be there honey.
Okay.
The door closed behind her. I can hear the lift bing moments later. These walls seem thinner, the windows opaque. This birdcage. The birdcage, an astonishing home for young professionals on the up. Panoramic views of London. We call it the elegant, omniscient, omnipresent, a beautiful home, and your beautiful Birdcage. Sure. I can’t believe I fell for that ugly sales pitch. I’m a fucking salesman. I walk to the black clear windows and look down, the streets are a blur below. I won’t go see him. Why should I.
Two years. I should buy some art before I go.